I have lost weight and repeatedly gained it back for most of my life. Although I can't tell you how much fat and muscle I have lost and gained over the years, I do know what it feels like to lose weight, relapse and battle with the emotional roller coaster that comes with dieting. I'm sure many of you can relate to my struggles; it is my goal to inspire you to read this book and learn how to avoid the pitfalls associated with dieting.

Early years
Fortunately, as a teenager I never thought about dieting because weight was never an issue for me. At the age of 18, I was 5'5" and weighed 125 pounds. I was no Ms. Fitness, but I wasn't considered fat either. However, shortly after high school and giving birth to my first child I became obsessed with the word "diet."

During my pregnancy I gained 75 pounds, and found myself an unhappy member of the "over 200 pound club." I became desperate and launched my diet career. After asking a few people how I could lose weight, I was introduced to diet pills, which were commonly referred to as "black beauties" or speed. At that time in my life, I fell in love with this amphetamine because of the way it made me feel and look.

Before long I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight of 125 pounds. Feeling energized and good about myself, I returned to what I felt was a normal weight. I soon discontinued the diet pills (which had suppressed my appetite) and revisited my old eating habits. Like most things we lose, I found my weight again. Before you could say, "all-you-can-eat buffet," I was once again over 200 pounds. Frustrated with myself, I returned to what I knew worked-diet pills. But then the health experts announced that such diet pills were causing health problems and were no longer legal. Still, I had enough diet pills to help me lose 70 pounds.

Down to about 140 pounds and beginning to feel good about my weight, I learned that I was once again pregnant. In no time I was back in the over 200 pound club. After Robert was born, I got back on my feet and decided it was time to lose this unwanted weight. It was during this time that the fitness and health craze was beginning to boom in the late 1960s, and I decided to jump on board and join a health club that offered a weight-loss program.

Exercise was something I hadn't done since high school and I found myself enjoying how good it made me feel. I still laugh when I think about that fat shaking contraption that you stood on, wrapped a belt around your waist and allowed it to jiggle the fat off your body. There was even a machine that you sat on to knock the cellulite off your butt. At any rate, I avoided these gimmicks and became addicted to dancing the fat off in the jazzercise class.

It was also during this time that I enrolled in the health club's weight-loss program where I was directed to purchase certain foods. This approach of combining exercise with their structured eating plan helped me lose nearly 70 pounds. However, my progress came to a screeching halt and I grew frustrated with the scale. After two months of stagnating at the same weight, I decided to deviate from the health club's weight-loss program and jump on the diet bandwagon.

Diet trap
Diets were very popular during this time, like they are today, and like everyone else who wanted to lose weight, I began my search for the ultimate diet. In little time I went from the high-protein diet to the banana diet-the water diet-the fruit diet-to Weight Watchers, and the list goes on and on. After working my way through more than 15 diets, I came to the realization that the greatest weight-loss success I'd achieved to date came by way of the diet pills. But then again, diet pills were no longer available.

Lost and running out of options, I stopped exercising and found myself going from one diet to the next until I fell in love with sweets. I became addicted to sugar. I couldn't eat a little. I had to eat a lot. So, in no time I was back up and over 200 pounds.
I am not the type of person who gives up easily, so I decided to avoid diets recommended by my friends and co-workers, and seek the advice of the medical industry instead. I then discovered a diet called "Opti-fast." Owned and operated by doctors and nurses, this diet helped me lose 100 pounds very quickly by drinking shakes, exercising and depriving myself of certain foods. However, during this particular transformation I took note of the effectiveness of exercise and how it helped to speed up the weight loss. Fed up with diet shakes, I decided to continue with the exercise, but went back to eating the food of my past.

Once more, I began gaining the weight back. I increased my exercise and still gained 50 of the 100 pounds I'd lost. Imagine the panic I was in when I stepped on the scale each week only to have it tell me I was going back to the "over 200 pound club." Exercising more than ever and still gaining weight caused me to doubt the effectiveness of working out.

The never ending saga
Although I had lost 100 pounds with the liquid drinks, I didn't want to go back to Opti-fast. I needed something different, something more satisfying. Then, I heard about this weight-loss clinic in town that guaranteed results.

Driving a total of two hours each week to spend an outrageous amount of money to lose weight proved to me that I was ready for permanent change. Upon arrival to this weight-loss clinic they would weigh me in and give me a shot that was supposed to curb my appetite. After leaving the clinic it became routine for me to reward myself with fast food after a week of deprivation.

To make a long story short, this weight-loss clinic was a joke and I felt like the biggest clown in town. So, after wasting a large amount of money, I went on my own and experienced another half-dozen or so diets. But, then came the "Eating Disorder Clinic." I liked what they had to offer. It was different and the idea of having more support in my life was inviting.

You see, the counselors felt I had an eating disorder that was a result of trauma that took place in my life. In short, I had lost my daughter in a tragic accident and I just couldn't seem to get myself together. Around this time I tipped the scales at a whopping 238 pounds. So, for 27 days I enlisted in their program. I allowed different therapists to get into my head. I was even eating three healthy meals per day. During my stay at this clinic I managed to lose 25 pounds. But once again it was time to return to reality and unfortunately I regained the weight plus a little more. I actually went up to 258 pounds.

Hitting rock bottom
At this point in my life I felt I had hit rock bottom. I felt desperate and considered stomach stapling. I didn't know what to do, but somehow I ended up enrolling into a program called "Physicians Weight Loss Center" and I lost over 100 pounds by replacing food with powdered drinks and exercising daily. Getting my weight down once again proved to me that I could succeed. I felt like I was a guru at losing weight. At the same time, I was equally skilled at gaining it all back. Full of confidence and believing that this was the last time, I found myself asking, "What happened?" as I gained all 100 pounds back.

Tired and fed up with programs and feeling beat up, I came to realize I was a compulsive overeater, and joined Overweight Anonymous where I lost 40 pounds. Not sure where to go, I took a major step in my journey and began a program called CEA-How.

The program was tightly structured and very restrictive. Like a soldier I adhered to what CEA-How advised and lost a total of 108 pounds. I felt confident with CEA-How and was able to keep the weight off for four years. I never wavered from the program. The discipline and structure of the program really worked and I had become a disciple of its laws and regulations. The only drawback for me was that I was faced with the feeling of being deprived of certain foods. The words "forbidden" and "illegal" were at the forefront of my mind when it was time to eat. But, I felt I was eating healthy and that was important to me.

The final straw
As I aged into my fifties, health issues began popping up. I've survived breast cancer and had both knees and one shoulder replaced. As tough as I was, cancer was the final straw. Here I was eating healthy, depriving myself of all the foods I loved and grew up on, and I ended up with cancer. It was at this point that I fell off the wagon and reverted to nurturing myself with food and eating what and whenever I wanted. As a result, I gained back that 108 pounds.

Now, as I enter my sixties, I have finally-I mean finally-moved into a healthier relationship with myself. Through all the diets, co-dependency of weight-loss programs and having lost and gained well over 1,000 pounds during my life, I now understand that leading a lifestyle that evolves is how you release fat that doesn't come back.

I use to pray that I wouldn't get buried in my own fat; I no longer have such thoughts. The Wellness Weight-Loss process has helped me become healthy and whole. I am no longer concerned with losing or gaining weight, but more interested in enjoying the journey of creating health. I do not feel deprived and I maintain a sense of power and control over the choices I make.

There are foods from my past that I enjoy and may crave at times, but I choose not to eat them. Knowing that there aren't any forbidden or restricted foods is what keeps me accountable and responsible for the choices I make. Because I am aware that I can choose what I want, I feel empowered and in control of my life.

One step at a time
As you read this book, notice that it has 24 chapters. Each chapter is symbolic to one hour in a day. The lifestyle that is promoted in this book is one that is based on 24 hours a day, 365 days per year. So, as you conclude each chapter, I encourage you to reflect on what you learn. I also stress that you read the chapters in sequence as they feed into one another.

I am forever grateful to have learned and lived what you are about to experience in this book. The tears and frustration I have experienced over the years do not have to be your experience. Take this opportunity that my son and his wife, Krista, have presented in this book and begin the process of releasing fat that doesn't come back. The Wellness Weight-Loss process is truly a last step for those of you who are done with dieting.

-Brenda A. Watson
Former Lifetime dieter and mother of co-author, Robert Ferguson

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